_{by jaymamma.}

 The flickering of the last and lonely candle finally flashed its last. Lilvari was left in the darkness clutching on to her feathered pillow in the darkness.

Sleep would not come. It was barred access to her by the stabbing blades of fear and regret. Like indomitable warriors that kept striking and cutting her to the bone. Sleep was not to come, but another had already arrived.

“Is that what you do when things don’t go your way?”

 Lilvari sat up quickly in the darkness. “Who is that?”

“The only Blade to best you.” Came the response. 

“Ophelia.”

“The one and only, come our Mistress wishes me to have a word with you.”

 Lilvari sighed. She rose from the bed, and as she stepped off, she was no longer in her and Droop’s inn room. 

The Rock.

The chosen physical manifestation of well a physical location that the raven queen favored for meetings with other beings.

Just a rock hurtling through nothingness. 

Lilvari turned to Ophelia.

She was surprised she was not equipped for combat. She wore a long silvery night gown trimmed in all the right places with white lace. Her hair was tied back, and her eyes, though still a pure white, did not glow as they had during their last encounter.

Lilvari also noted that she stood with a poise that was regal, almost royal in a sense. This was not what she expected from such a brutal warrior. 

“What, why are you looking at me like that?”

Lilvari smiled. “I hadn’t expected, well I guess I don’t know what I expected.

“I don’t live in my armor Lilvari, I sleep in nightwear like most.”

Lilvari looked down, avoiding the purity in Ophelia’s eyes. “I guess I thought you would be a burly brute beneath the armor. Sorry?”

She snorted. “When have you known the Raven Queen to not recruit the handsome and beautiful? Even the beast is quite the beautiful specimen now that he has been cleaned up.”

“Ha, yes it was a foolish notion of mine. I have yet to meet an unattractive blade.”

“Maybe thinking that made you feel better about me putting you on your back.”

Lilvari looked up. “That is probably true. So she sent you to me, but not for combat. It also looks like she yanked you out of bed. What is this about?”

“Let us go for a ride”

Her mount appeared, as did the facsimile of Shadowsilk. 

Lilvari, despite the fears that afflicted her, could not help but be elated to mount her prized mare.

They rode. Side by side for what seemed to be quite a bit of time. The Rock never seemed to end or even change. For all they knew, they could simply be riding in place and not tell the difference. 

Lilvari couldn’t complain, this was a welcome diversion. Finally, though, Ophelia broke the silence.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Being as the queen yanked you out of bed and has you entertaining me whom I know you hate, I think the least I could do is answer a question.”

She slowed down and stopped entirely. 

“The queen told me of your plight, and I must say it completely baffles me. How could one without mercy or remorse murder a whole town, yet be so heartbroken by the loss of a goblin pet?”

“First, he is not a pet. He is probably both more human and humane than most I have met. He is a trusted ally, a confidant, and a close cherished friend.” 

Ophelia stared back at Lilvari as if judging the answer. 

“I apologize, I did not mean to offend.”

“Well, you did and well apology accepted. As for the first words of your question, what do you know of Eli’s end and my part in it?”

“What’s to know?  You unleashed unfathomable power and left nothing but death and ash.”

Lilvari took a deep breath and then let it out, trying to keep calm.

“Is there more to it? Why don’t you tell me how it happened then, why it happened?”

“My parents were murdered, my home destroyed, my best friend was gutted, all because I dared to step past acceptable social boundaries. There is nothing I would not give to reverse time and never have won that contest.”

Ophelia looked puzzled. “What contest?”

Lilvari looked at her long and hard, now seeming to be the one doing the judging.

“You don’t know anything of it, do you? You think I just woke one morning and said fuck this, I am going to burn all these people to ash.?”

“I have never known details, no, because there was no evidence to provide detail. I know this because I looked into it when I was charged with hiding you.”

“Well then I can see why you hate me. I will let you in on a secret, I hate me too. Eli, the party in Phandalin, the Transendor girl, my comrades in Ravenloft who I can not even remember, and now Droop all because of me.”

“No matter how hard I try to make right to do good for someone, it always goes the other way. Then I have to avenge them and usually end up doing something even more horrible.”

Ophelia was silent for a long time. Lilvari suspected she was judging, which she was.

“Ophelia?”

“Yes Lilvari?”

“I would ask you a favor, I have no right, but I have to ask. I believe you could actually do it.”

“What?”

“If I do not get Droop back alive tomorrow can you do something for me? No, not me for everyone else.”

“What is it. What could I possibly do?”

“If I do not rescue him, I want you to kill me.”

“Why? Why would you ask such a thing?”

“I fear what I will do. I fear who I will hurt.”

“Lilvari, I cannot?”

“WHY?!!” Lilvari screamed, tears now streaming down her cheeks again. “YOU WANT TO WHY CAN”T YOU?!!”

“The queen would not allow it. You have a significance that I do not and have not ever understood. Even when you went off the rails in Ravenloft, she still saved you, nursed your fractured body and mind back to health. I would dare say she was caring, tender even in the doing.”

She paused then continued. “You, despite all you have done, have noble intentions. It is easily the most baffling and frustrating situation I have ever encountered. I want to hate you, I do. I however do not. Not even a little. 

“I wish you would, I wish you did. I just want to die. I don’t want to live this vicious cycle anymore. I want it to end.” 

“Really? Hundreds died at Eli. Many more in Ravenloft. This is how you would make amends finding an excuse to get me to kill you?

“You say you want to make things right. It will never be made right. It can never be right again.”

“Still, that is no excuse, there is no excuse to not try. There will be setbacks, there will be death.

“YOU are a warrior. You will lose friends, loved ones, comrades. This is the nature of things.”

“HONOR THEM!”

“All of them, every death you have caused, every one you have lost.”

“Stop seeking vengeance. Seek JUSTICE!”

“You have dragged your party all over to provide justice for Lillian. You put so much love and attention into the goblin. You risked your life to rescue the Transendor woman.”

“There is honor there Lilvari. Lillian would be crushed if you were dead.  If Droop does not survive, what do you think he would want for you.?”

“Would he want you to self destruct? No, he would not. We live on for our dead, not use them as an excuse to murder countless more.

“In case you have not surmised, my gift is the sight. I can see guilt. I can see innocence. When I look into your eyes, LOOK AT ME!”

Lilvari pained with her words could do nothing else but obey.

“I see innocence, ignorance of the unbridled power within you. You are no mere Tiefling, I think you know this.

“You were but a girl stripped of everything she ever loved or cared for. Of course, you could not control the power you never knew you had.” “Even the queen did not suspect at that time. I can excuse Eli, not forget but excuse, even Ravenloft I can excuse.”

“This though, you shame those you have killed and those you cherished and are lost.”

Her voice softened. “I see potential greatness, love, concern for those who are unable to protect themselves, the oppressed.”

“Your most constant theme is leaving the past behind. You either don’t remember or can’t seem to forget. Remember what happened if for no other reason to NOT REPEAT IT. You have the power, the charisma, to make a difference in this world or any other.”

She guided her horse closer. She put her hand on Lilvari’s. “I see what I can do for you. I will help you, I will guide you. I can be the mentor you never had but always needed.”

“Whatever happens tomorrow, good or otherwise, can I help you move forward no matter the outcome?”

Lilvari was choked up far beyond the ability to speak. The constant need to keep up appearances, the loss of friends, the emotional maelstrom had reached a point she could no longer process. 

Suddenly Ophelia brought the back of her hand across Lilvari’s cheek as hard as she could.

“I will be here for you no matter what happens tomorrow. Will you be here to move forward?”

Lilvari collapsed into Ophelia, who could do nothing else but catch her and pull her tight.

“I have you from here on. Are you with me?”

Through tears, she could only whisper one word. “Yes”

Lilvari in an instant was back in her bed at the inn. She would be overwhelmed with all that just happened if she wasn’t already asleep the moment she reappeared in the bed.

“Do you think you got through to her?”

“I believe so, you have been playing with fire with her these last few years, my queen.”

“I have tried to keep her contained, but it grows ever harder.”

“I know who she is once I got a clear look into her eyes in her weakened state.”

“Well, that took a lot less time than I thought.”

“She is broken in a hundred, a thousand places. It was an accident, well mostly at Eli.”

“Yes, she had no idea, neither did I. The touch of my power awakened what was already there.”

“This is how it finds its way here.”

“I believe it knew where to go the moment it felt her for the first time.”

“That’s why you didn’t kill her once you knew Queen?”

“It would not have changed anything. Like I said, momentary knowledge of her presence locked it onto this reality. Killing her would not divert it.”

Ophelia turned to the raven queen.

“Is that the only reason you kept her alive?”

“I have other reasons.”

“I know you do”

“Will you help her?”

“I told her I would. Not for you. You helped do this to her. Messing with her mind, pacting her to begin with. She could have been pure from the get go, the potential is still there.”

I will do everything I can to help her. It is the only way in this circumstance I can provide justice. Justice for her and everyone who has fallen due to your meddling. Now if you don’t mind Queen, I would really like to return to my bed.