_{by jaymamma.}

I tell the others to ride on ahead and I’ll catch up. They eye me suspiciously but grant my wishes. I was going to do something I did not do often, mainly because it pretty pointless to bother at all. Even so it was better than not making the effort, and I didn’t want an audience while I prostrated myself. I could barely tolerate me doing it, the thought of someone else seeing me do it.. was worse still. I knelt and put my palms on the ground.

“Patron, I have given you the banshee as asked before she was able to answer any questions. We will find cragmaw through other options. I ask for yet another boon for my good service, and the damage it may have caused within the party. You have to admit, they are certainly effective and powerful allies and we would not want to alienate or make enemies of them. Can you discern the location of the spellbook of Bowgentle from the banshee? The harpers I also do not wish to alienate with a lie, or the truth of what we did to the banshee. We are building a potent circle of allies and a base of power here that could be advantageous in the future. Thank you….master”

I stood and got my belongings and mounted my horse. My patron rarely responded when I entreated in such a way. I hope I was humble and flattered enough to get her attention and more so an answer. When I was entreating I couldn’t help but wonder. Could Mystic impregnate a horse? I damned myself  for thinking it again, and damned them for making it such an important, disgusting and , somehow interesting issue. What was I going to do with them, as horrible as I can be I had before them never thought about a shapeshifter banging a horse, but still I really needed the answer. Maybe I should have asked my patron that question.

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At that moment when I looked for the others, my vision started to blur. Then dizziness set in, my horse whined in concern and to fight the dizziness i leaned forward resting my forehead on her mane. It passed quickly and when I sat up I was no longer on the plane or even on a horse. I sat on a jagged grey rock floating in an inky seas of darkness littered by flashing pinpricks of light off in the distance. I heard words, then screams of anguish, then words I wanted to hear. I smiled. I could now make right on at least two counts, I was also happy to get a response any response that was a sign of appreciation and suited my vanity. It also meant “She” could be persuaded after all. As the summons or vision or whatever you would want to call it faded, I fully expected to be back on my horse riding to catch up to my comrades. Instead to my chagrin and surprise I awoke to a vast sprawling cavern, hot beyond my comfort as rivulets of lava washed by in their beds. 

“Are you coming?” I looked around for the source of the voice. And there “She?” was? It was a woman I could tell, the breasts gave it away. She appeared to be a normal woman, dressed in plate armor and she had a large shield emblazoned with a strange symbol I had not seen before. I knew it to be a religious icon of some sort but did not know of the god behind it. She was a cleric or priest I imagine, the odd thing was that she was featureless. Where her face should have been was just a blur, I just could not perceive her visage. 

she held out her hand which I took reluctantly. “come on goblins gather ahead and knock their bolts. We battled and I was wounded and the cleric kept me alive. The goblins fell. I was gravely wounded and again she saved me. Ultimately we were forced to flee from a giant ogre, which through shrewd tactical acumen the priestess baited and drew the beast across a narrow damaged bridge and it fell to its fiery end. We exited the cavern and when I turned to speak to her, something shook me. 

It was Mystic I was back on my horse. 

“What happened you OK?

I was leaned against her she no doubt had stopped me from tumbling off my horse and onto my arse. I sat up swiftly. I” Am fine”

She shied away. 

“I’m sorry, thank you I just got a bit dizzy”

From up ahead I could hear Dare yell.

“Its probably some type of sex sickness Whore he grinned.  I could not tell if he was serious or joking. I sneered and he waved it of and he continued.

Mystic and I rode on to catch up.

I wasn’t a whore. Just another tool on the workbench.

I ignored Mystics inquisitive sideways glances. Maybe it was nice to be cared for. I wasn’t sure yet. 

What had that been? It was not my patron, she is many things but certainly not fire and brimstone. It was more the flavor of a lower planes denizen. I had dealings with demons and devils before and I was one, but even that didn’t seem to be it. Maybe a waking dream just a random thing between coming back to reality from my patrons choice meeting spot. 

I caught a glint of sunlight bouncing off armor up ahead by the sign of warning towards Thunder-tree. Ajax shouted and pointed. There stood a female warrior couldn’t make out the face due to the sun. The breasts gave it away. I definitely recognized the shield. Was it a vision of some sort or did I just glimpse here standing there while in my dream-state? Who the hell knows. At this point I just wanted to get this done. Maybe I was losing it. Maybe I did have some whore’s sickness. Dam IT. I whipped an eldritch blast by Dare’s horse causing it to rear back and dump him on the ground I smirked as I rode past and the others laughed. 

I didn’t have a whore’s sickness. I served a extra dimensional being with powers beyond a god, she had a difficult time putting ideas in my head. Why were these jack asses able to so easily do so. It was just like the dam— I cursed and wanted to scream I was back on the dam horse impregnation thing again. O my lord I hate my party mates.